Oh to be unemployed yet again
So… a hard topic to write about. I lost my job. It’s not something that is easy to admit. I was in utter shock when it happened and I cried for about 3 days and I personally hate crying so everyone around me knew I was every upset. It was a huge surprise for me since I was just told I was doing very well. To say that I am still confused 2 weeks later is an annoying reality.
Lets just start off with, it royally sucks. To say that I feel like a failure is an understatement. But I try to remember that I read a few months ago before graduation that my generation is to have an average of 12 to 15 jobs in our life time made it just a little better. Previous generations would average 3 or 4. I’m not really sure what that says about this day and age. Either my generation cannot make up our minds or there is something wrong with how companies operate, but I digress.
I’ve been hiding from society as much as possible the last two weeks. Mostly out of frustration and embarrassment. I cannot even qualify for unemployment to make things a little easier till I find a job because I was 2 weeks short of the amount of time needed to work to be able to claim which felt like a slap in the face to find out. I’ve basically been getting up every day the last two weeks and jump hunting all day. Is it so much to ask for an entry level job opening in the science field? It seems all the managers all up and ran off leaving hundreds of those jobs to fill, but nothing available for entry level. Anyway, I am out there looking like crazy.
My friends and family have been so supportive, its been almost unbelievable. I didn’t want to tell anyone because was pretty much ashamed to have lost my first serious job that I loved so much. To quote Cristina “You have nothing to be ashamed of because you were a great employee and they told you that you were, the laws in this state just suck!” Oh what would I do without my best friend? My mom said we will make it work. She’s whipped me up two new amazing resumes, a general one and a science one. My aunt seems to really understand how I’m feeling and it’s great because I can talk to her and it’s like getting a big hug through the phone.
When it first happened I cried to my mom on the phone for 4 hours. I didn’t tell Cristina for a few days, because well, I was trying to hide under the covers and pretend it was all a bad dream, and trust me it didn’t work. I couldn’t sleep for 3 days. Cristina had to remind me that it is ok to break down every once in a while. She has been an amazing best friend the last 2 weeks. She knows me so well and knows what to say. She reminded me that I am a hard worker, that I am passionate about what I do, and this doesn’t have to be a negative impact on my life, that good things happen in what seems to be a bad situation. My sister Michelle was the one to actually get me out of bed, showered and out of the house on day 4. She can be quiet and shy, but she can also be very strong a little bossy. She ordered me out of bed and we went to dinner… for 4 hours. She started talking to me about the business that I would love to start and we just created this whole 10 year plan we want to do now together. Starting with me getting a job so we start paying for this 10 year plan. She’s my yin to my yang when it comes to science and business. I loved ecology, she thought the class was personally sent from the devil to torture her. She can sit and play with wires to make a board light up for hours, I cannot stand it. She just allowed me to dream of where I want to be and helped me make it a more organized vision with steps. My aunt seemed to understand my exact emotions and had such great empathy that it felt ok to feel everything that I was feeling.
It still sucks that I am out of job, and this time I was let go. I left my last job because of the amazing job offer I was given which now kind of seems like a cruel joke. Cristina says everything happens for a reason. My mom says that it just means I wasn’t on the right path for my life. That’s all fine and dandy, but that isn’t going to pay the bills and student loans till I get a new job. I wish I had actual savings left. I had to use a part of my savings for the move to my wonderful new apartment because I could afford it and have savings at the end of the month, plus family could visit me way more often since I would have space for them. Ugh, I had a plan to have my savings back by Dec and then some. Life is funny in a cruel way.
So I am currently looking for a job… again… for the third time… in 2011. I really hope 2012 is just a little financially secure and stable. Thank goodness for friends and family. I probably wouldn’t have been back on my feet in 4 days without them. I’ve gotten a ton of good advice, so much love and support, and I got to reminded of the amazing blessing I have to have these great people in my life. I also realized just how close I am to Cristina and Michelle, I let them into my life more and more each passing year. You really do meet your friends for life in college. I know they make me a better person. And I know they a part of my support group now and that says something. I really hope I find a good job soon. I really did love my old job, I enjoyed waking up in the morning to go to work which makes this whole situation a little harder and a little more painful.
Well at least I have my master classes to distract me and Itunes. Been playing Rock Bottom by Pablo in Hurricanes a lot. Mostly cause I like the song. Heard it on Grey’s Anatomy last week and been hooked on it ever since. Plus I know I am working hard to find a job that would suit me and hopefully be a secure avenue for me. Lesson learned, in the state of Florida, you are at your employers whim. They basically can let you go for basically any reason and they don’t even have to tell you why really. Who ever thought up this law is…. anyway…. it’s a reality when working in the state of Florida. I’ve learned that employees have really horrible rights. I guess you just have to cross your fingers and hope for the best that they keep you.
Now to get back to my dance party on Itunes and get ready for bed. I’ve got jobs to hunt for… on Halloween! Muhahahaha!
