It’s the middle of the night and I’m about to talk about something that most people don’t ever speak of in public. The dark side of the first few weeks of college.

I remember my first few weeks of college feeling alone and confused. Why wasn’t I always happy to be free and running around like it seemed to be on every TV show and in brochures? I remember nights where I just wanted to run away from Lynn, to just go home to what I knew and understood.

I think this is really a big problem for international students. I’m American. I was born here, but I feel so much like a stranger because I spent 15 years overseas representing a country I never really lived in. I felt out of my element and just wanted to run back to what I knew. Not necessarily my house and back to my mother, but back to my comfort zone.

I think that is why Cristina and I are so close now. We met during that period of time where we just wanted to get away from this new crazy world. I felt 20 times better once I knew I was not the only one feeling the way I was feeling.

Some students cry each night. Some cry all day long. Others try and drink their problems away or get high. I used to get so upset that I would just hide in my room and just scheme at how I could get away from Lynn, even if it was for a day.

At one point, I started saving my money so I could buy a plane ticket to anywhere but Florida. All the new stress was overwhelming. Mom wasn’t there to fix anything and I felt like if I wasn’t happy my first few weeks, then I wasn’t ready for college.

I started to hate my mom for making me stay at Lynn. Cristina was always fighting with her family that she wanted to leave. The girls on my floor were always yelling at their parents late at night the first few weeks that they wanted to leave or they couldn’t handle it. Something was always wrong and panic was everywhere a freshmen could be found.

Seeing the upperclassmen was not much of a help. They always seemed to be so happy and set into their routine that it felt impossible to believe that they had once felt what I was feeling.

So what changed? I made friends and started talking about my feelings. I was open with my professors about how I was feeling so that they knew I was having a hard time adjusting to college life. I had made three great friends that helped me get through my first year. I ate lunch and dinner with them. I walked to class with them. I talked to them about everything. We supported each other through all the struggles.

I think about six to eight weeks into college, I started to truly fall in love with Lynn. I started to see the beauty of college. I started to enjoy my classes and having my own space. I had my car by that point so I could get off campus. I started watching movies in Eric’s room, eating lunch with Cristina, and dinner with Rob. We started our own traditions which I miss now. Good news, go to the movies or order dinner. Bad news or a horrible day, ice cream at cold stone. I went on drives with Eric to just get out, went for Wendy’s fast food with Rob when I was depressed, and late night walks with Cristina when neither of us could sleep.

I started my own life. I wasn’t part of someone else’s plan for the first time in my life which I think is why it was so scary. No one was telling me what I should be doing, it was all up to me. I was discovering a lot about myself. Things like, I think dorm rooms feel so sterile like a hospital because there are no plants or pets. I’ve always had cats around me so not having my two little angels was strange. I had to call my mom to tell her about my day, not when she got home from work. I got to pick my future. I was discovering me, and let me tell you, it is scary getting to know yourself.

It’s ok to be scared. Terrified is more like it. Lol. I think I spent so much time looking forward to leaving home and getting away from my mom that I lost sight in the fact that in reality, your parents drop you off and say good bye to you. They leave a teenager and then you are supposed to turn around and suddenly become an adult. Frankly, we are all still little kids running around trying to learn how to be an adult. Why do you think I’m always saying that being an adult is hard?

So what’s my advice? Blast some music and dance in your dorm room. If your RA comes knocking, tell her that you are stressed and trying to learn how to be an adult. Find comfort food. Make friends that you can talk to about what you are going through because they are feeling it too. Play hookie every once in a while. Call home and tell your parents that college isn’t what you thought it was going to be, that it isn’t all fun and games. Tell mom about the hard biology professor or dad about how you can’t seem to get anything to make your room feel like home. Kick a soccer ball around. Sing, do whatever you have to to get through those first few weeks. They are rough.

I have so many people to thank for helping me get through those first weeks. I went to Stefano’s office near tears telling him that I wanted to leave and he calmed me down and informed me of all the great things about being at Lynn. He made me stick it out a little longer. Rich the RD who is always more than happy to give advice and lend an ear or two. My poor mother had to deal with who knows how many calls of me demanding to let me come home.

Listen, next year, I don’t have any classes on Friday. I’m going to make that the day that freshmen can come to me and talk about what they are going through. You don’t have to feel alone. I’ve done it and it was hard and scary. Find me around campus, and stop me to talk. We can get coffee at Christine’s or have lunch in the caf. How many times did I wish to have someone to talk those first few weeks! Stop me, stop any of the bloggers, they are totally cool, understanding, and best of all, they’ve been there! It’s ok to be…. It’s ok! Scared, angry, terrified, traumatized, lol.

They say that it only gets harder each year, but I think it can only get better. I am so excited about my second year. I have the best roommates in the world. I’m going to be surrounded by my friends and Michelle is moving into the dorms! I miss Lynn so much right now, you have no idea.

So keep emailing me at manderson5@email.lynn.edu and know that once back at school, I’m always there to help. Come talk to me, or just ask me questions, even if it is to find out what building you are standing in, hehe.

Hey, if you guys want to add me to facebook to get to know me, please let me know that you are a future Lynn student. I don’t add people I don’t know. So just send me a message saying who you are and  I’ll add you, thanks!

I’m partying with my family! My mom’s graduation from Grad school was this morning and the whole family is here!

I have gotten a few emails from worried parents of freshmen students. I’ve also got some very sweet emails from students who are curious about starting college. Well after answering many questions over past few weeks, I thought I would post some of the emails and my answers.

One from a parent:

Hi, my name is Linda. My daughter is coming this Fall from Ohio.

I am not sure if she reads these blogs, but I do. She is my only child and I am a single mother, so I have to do everything myself….

…She wants to bring like lots of clothes & I keep telling her she is not going to have the room.

What about laundry soap? Should I buy her a supply & bring it or is it better/easier to just buy it there?

Are the mattresses comfortable? I was going to buy her one of those down, mattress pad things do you think I should?

Can you suggest a hotel that is not to far away and/or in between the school & shopping? Is it better to bring a comforter or wait until she meets her room mate & see if they want a theme color & get it down there when we get there…..

I wrote back:

Buy the laundry soap when you get here. Thank goodness you are going to have a car when you get to Lynn. It will be really helpful the first few days. There is a Walgreens and a supermarket less than 5 minutes away in the same shopping mall area. Its VERY simple to get to. Turn left out of Lynn and go about 4 to 5 blocks. It will be on the left hand side.

Don’t fret to much over the clothes. My roommate had a ton. So did I. *sighs* girls will be girls. If its only clothes she’s filling up on, you should be good.

The mattress sucks. My advise, get one of those foam things and anything else that is thick and soft.

For the room. Well, just because they are roommates doesn’t mean that they will have to have the same colors…. ….I’ve seen plenty of rooms that have two very different sides and it looked fine. It should reflect your daughter in the end. This is her new space, her new life. It should feel like home to make the move easier.

One email from a student name Samantha made me laugh. I wanted to know everying like she does when I got to Lynn.

When is rush week and how do i find out more about both sororities?
Will i get something in the mail?
And tell me about weekends are they crazy?
Im coming from oklahoma not knowing a soul at lynn so I’m trying to�
find out all the facts..

Rush week is the same day as the activities fair. All organizations and groups on campus will be out infront of the student center, very hard to miss with all the signs. It’s normally the second or third week of school. Thats when you can learn about the sororities and all organizations on campus. All the greeks will be out, wearing their letters, just stop any of them and ask why you should join their sorority or what organizations they are in.

Define crazy. Weekends are weekends. We are so busy that normally we pass out on saterday and work on sunday. We sometimes go to parties and have BBQ’s on campus. Watch movies or chill in each others rooms. A lot of times we go out to eat. There are a few clubs in Boca.

Things to think about before you ship off to college. Are there things you get on a monthly basis, face cream, percriptions, magazines, just remember to forward it to Lynn. Talk to your pharmacy about making sure you can get everything you need once you arrive in Boca. There is a Walgreens down the street from us which comes in handy if the school nurse wants you to take something. Yes, you are going to get sick… often. Welcome to college.

Now, cars. If you have a car, begin crying now. Gas prices sucked when I left. I don’t even want to think about how high it is going to be when I get back! I spent all my money filling up my tank. Hmm,  I wonder if depression is on the rise in America do to gas prices? That would be a cool research  project. Anyway, random moment for today. Now, if you are planning on getting a drivers license anytime soon, it would be a great idea. Most American kids already have one, but a lot of international kids might not. It will come in handy. You don’t have to have a car, some friends might let you borrow theirs when they have class or something. I just know that some days, it would have been great to have some one else who could drive around. Say the time I got stuck 10 minutes away from school, sick to my stomach, in a ton of pain and no one could come and get me because they didn’t have license. There were cars, but no one to drive them.

Also, the storm alert. It goes off when lightening hits 5 miles within the school. Its loud and is annoying at first but you get used to it. The first time I heard it, I thought we were under attack. lol. And it sucks to wake up to, half awake, still in that confused mode.

I’ve also noticed that a lot of freshmen are concerned about making friends. It’s funny. I’ve moved so many times in my life but I  was worried about making friends when I got to college as well. It is kind of silly looking back on it now since I did just fine. My advice, go to the freshmen meet and greet party. It sound pretty stupid, and I felt like I was back in high school again, but I met Michelle there and thank goodness! We are both bio majors and stick together. She’s moving next door to me which I am so excited about. All I have to say is, give it sometime. Wait a few days for everyone to relax. People will start to open up. Talk to the other freshmen in your classes. That’s how I met Cristina. Just be open minded and go for it!

Well, thats all for now. I’m helping to make dinner and fighting off two tuna hungry cats.

I have been getting a bunch of emails from new freshmen and their parents. It’s awsome! I love it.

For those of you who are curious about greek life, it is amazing. I love my sisters so much, and the frat boys are a ton of fun to hang out with. I am still sad that I missed Tie Date with the ZBT’s. If you aren’t sure, come to rush week. See what the greeks are about, meet a few of us, ask a ton of questions, and see if it is you. Its the best way to learn about the greeks.

BSU is awsome too. A smaller group, not only for Black Students, who love BBQ’s and helping kids. We plan a bunch of activies for children each year, bring in guest speakers and have a ball at each meeting. I think we spend 75% of our time cracking jokes in meetings. Of course we get stuff done, but we have the most fun doing it. BSU is really laxed. I’m trying to grow it for next year and maybe have a few more BBQ’s and bands come in. The guys were talking about having a poetry night…. of course with a band at the end to dance the night away.

Remember, all incoming students and parents of new freshmen can email me at manderson5@email.lynn.edu

Ask me questions, its what I’m here for! I’ve already lived my freshmen year, made the mistakes, ask me the questions so you make less mistakes, spend less time fixing your mistakes, and spend more time enjoying being a freshmen at Lynn.

Advise that will save you, fill out ALL your paperwork BEFORE you get to lynn and then check at least 3 times over one week to make sure that Lynn has all your paperwork. Now if mom and dad seem crazy embrassing by calling the school to see if your paperwork is in, don’t roll your eyes and act like they are treating you like a child. This will save you FOUR HOURS in the gym on the first day… I repeat 4 hours of your life that you will NEVER GET BACK standing around in the gym with all the new kids filling out the forms that you thought were sent in. Double check. It will save you so much time and allow you to enjoy your first day as a college student a whole lot more.

Lord knows I wish I had checked. And this goes double as a student coming from over seas. I was doing all my paperwork in Kuwait and well, that sucked, cause some of it got lost. I had to change addresses and sign stuff. My picture for my ID never got sent. Also, you are going to have that ID for 4 years, PICK YOUR PHOTO, do not take the photo in the gym. Security, professors, the caf people, pretty much anyone you buy something off of will see that picture. You are going to want it to look good. My advise, senior picture. It’s nice (well it should be, it is your senior portrait!) and it will look even better 4 years down the line then when you first roll out of bed at the crack of dawn to get to school because your parents are nervous.

This a personal note to all those graduating this year from high school. Congrats! I hope your graduation is all that you wanted. I know that I loved mine and still remember the after party. I mean…. my diploma.

You’ve worked hard. Trust me I know, you’ve signed all the forms, found the perfect outfit for prom and grad. You know where you are going and what you are doing with your life. You are on top of the world. This is a great mile stone in your life. Enjoy it. Truly take every bit of it in. And cut your mom some slack. Ya she’s crying a lot, but her baby is going to college!

Speaking of moms. Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT allow them to over pack your bags. There is not that much room in a dorm room and mothers seem to forget that. Bring what you will need, a tooth brush,some clothes… not all of them, things for classes, your favorite posters. Keep it down. Trust me, I learned the hard way. I spent plenty of days trying to find space to put stuff and throwing the rest out. DAYS. In college, you don’t have days to be cleaning your room. Hug your mom and dad and inform them that they mean well.

So whats the best thing to do? Bring hardly anything. Now, I might sound crazy, but heres the plan. Have your parents put aside money for what you will need in college. The first month, make a list, have them order and send it to you. Yes this may seem like more of a hassle, but hello, Target anyone? The people in the mailroom are wonderful. They will help you get any large packages to your room. Now this way you don’t have a ton of stuff that you don’t need hogging up your room and you are getting packages sent with love from mom and dad. You will love packages from home around the third month.

Make a list of all your favorite things that you do with your mom and dad. Love mom’s cookies? Ask her if she’s willing to overnight a batch once a month. Watch the game with dad? Make a plan that when your fav team is on, you’ll watch it together, via web cam or on the phone. You will want a little bit of home when you get to college.

I remember my first night in my dorm room. I just plopped myself down on my bed and took it all in. This was my new life. MY new life. It’s a feeling I will never forget. A whole new stage of life that I was excited to begin. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, boy was I wrong. I learned so much the first few days. And don’t mind the upperclassmen. They arne’t mean, they just know the drill. Give them a couple of days to warm up to you. Like in high school, freshmen can be spotted a mile away.

Who you were in high school means nothing in college, you will grow up a lot and college will change you. Expect to learn a lot about yourself.

Again, congrats all high school grads of 2008! You did it! You made it, you are going to college! If you are like Kori, and have a ton of questions about Lynn, or college in general, feel free to email me at manderson5@email.lynn.edu. Its my personal school email account which I check every day. Feel free to ask me anything about college! Honestly! I’ll answer them as freely as you ask me. If I can’t answer it, I’ll direct you to some one who can. Ask me about classes, friends, parties, clubs, sports, how to get stuff done, where to pick up your mail, the food plans, anything! I have the whole summer to answer all incoming freshmen questions, and hey, if its really good, I’ll blog about it!

Alright class of 2008, you are now the class of 2012 at Lynn, welcome!

(P.S. This is my 200th post! Sweet!)

I think I figured it out. College, the whole thing. College is easy, go to class, do homework, keep room clean. Its EVERYTHING ELSE that is hard.

I’ve had to deal with so much I never expected this year its amazing. The paperwork never seems to end. Something always is broken, needs to be replaced, restocked, who knows what, which all cost money. There just seems to be new challenges every day that I never thought of before.

My mother informs me that it all gets easier… but I’m not so sure how much I can trust her. This is still the same woman who told me about Santa and the Easter Bunny.

Freshmen 101: You have a lot to learn.

Freshmen 101 tip: Its ok to make mistakes.

Its now close to the end of this school year, I can now look back and see a lot of things. I can see that when I first got to Lynn, I was sure that everything was going to be perfect. That everything was going to be great. I guess I was hoping that being an adult was going to be easy. Boy was I wrong.

Its ok to make mistakes! Doesn’t it seem like your parents make everything look so easy? Well lets not forget that they had a head start. They made the mistakes already, or at least we would hope, they have had time to perfect the art of being an adult. Well, at least we hope they are a lot better at it then the average college student!

I remember in high school how I was scared to make a mistake and of course, being the typical teenager, my first thought would be, “My mother is going to kill me!” Since day one, I’ve made who knows how many mistakes. From losing information, forgetting to drop off my laundry, over sleeping, not doing a homework assignment (or two), let my account get into the negative, fought with my friends when I shouldn’t, got a speeding ticket, locked myself out of my room (twice), pissed off my floor with my alarm clock, left food out and got ants one day, didn’t back up my files and so when my laptop crashed I had nothing, starting to get the picture? 

I don’t know what I would do without my mom. I used to be close to my mom when I was at home, but I think I got a whole lot closer to my mother on a new level once I got to college.  Now I call her when I’m stressed out, when I’m having a good day or a bad day, when I just need to talk, when I’m homesick, and when I mess up royally. I’m also getting to see a new side of my mom. She’s more supportive than I ever thought she would be. lol. Sounds mean, but when I was at home, I was always scared to get into trouble, but now I know that my mother will be upset, but she’ll still support me and help me through whatever it is I have gotten myself this time. She has really surprised me since I’ve gotten to college. A lot of stuff I was sure I was never going to get passed the yelling, and yet, she never raised her voice once but informed me that I was just learning a life lesson and that this too would pass. The first time she didn’t yell at me or give me a lecture I nearly fainted.

And thank goodness for friends! Between me and my three friends, we make a lot of mistakes but we’ve got each others backs. College can be scary if you are all alone. We learn from each other which is great and we support each other. Between Cristina working herself to death, Rob not being able to focus some nights and just needing someone else to type for him, and Eric to have somone on him about cleaning his room and doing his homework, we are always there for each other.

Its ok to make mistakes. As long as you are learning from them. Being an adult is not as easy as it seems. I’m starting to think that college is four years of trying to figure out yourself, your future, how the world works and where you fit into it. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you first get to college, make mistakes, learn from them, and move on.

I was running around town and happened to drop by the school for a minute when I look to my left while driving to notice Eric driving right next to me. I was like, where in the world did you come from? He was just going for a drive and I was trying to cash a check from my grandfather for my birthday.

We ended up going all over the stupid city, neither one of us had much gas in our cars, I ended up having to open a bank account because my bank is only found in DC I guess. Afterwards, we dropped off my car since I hate driving and Eric loves to drive, and then headed out to find food.

We got stuck in traffic for two and a half hours! It was horrible! Eric was texting his girlfriend CJ since we weren’t moving and I was texting pretty much everyone in my phone book. lol. We could not get out of the traffic, it was horrible. We tried all kinds of back ways but we kept finding backed up streets. Eric went into New York mode and started driving in a way that would make Rob and Cristina fear for their lives. I on the other hand was like, you drive like a Kuwaiti. (It takes a lot to shock me in a car. Drive fast, drive like a crazy person, I’ve seen it all.)

Oh! And some old woman hit my car today! I was so upset! I nearly had a heart attack! I was like, my car! MY BABY!!!! It was about to get really ugly. Lucky for the both of us, neither of us had a scratch on our cars. Great, since she was a NUT CASE!!!! Who the heck pulls out of a parking spot without looking???? I was so upset, that was probably why I was so thankful that Eric was driving later in the afternoon. It seems all of Boca went crazy on the road today! Just… AAAHHHH! Look where you are going! My mom is happy that I am fine and I’m happy that I don’t have a scratch on my car.

Freshmen 101 tip: For the International Students!!!! Since I grew up over seas, I have an account with the State Department bank, which well, is not found everywhere in the states and leaves me tons of problems. My advice, talk to your parents about how they will send you money, who you will pay for stuff at school or checks that need to be from American banks in American Dollars. I learned a lot about banks today, they are annoying and confusing!

Also, another tip, old people are crazy on the road. Stay away from them or pass them. They can hit you and its no big deal for them. They have money and better insurance. Its a fact, get over it. That… and there crazy.