Do you know what today is? Today is the day I become glued to my TV. That’s right, its the Olympics! HEAVEN! Of course I’m totally rooting for Michael Phelps. My cousin got me intrested in him during the last Olympics.

Swimming, soccer, and gymnastics. Ya, I’m going to be getting a lot done. I guess I’m going to have to stop for a few minutes and call Cristaina on Sunday since it is her birthday…. hmmmm…. must make time for that or I’m going to get an ear full.

The first few days back to school are going to be so exciting! I have so many presents to give people, like the awsome birthday presents for my two amazing future roomates.

It’s the middle of the night and I’m about to talk about something that most people don’t ever speak of in public. The dark side of the first few weeks of college.

I remember my first few weeks of college feeling alone and confused. Why wasn’t I always happy to be free and running around like it seemed to be on every TV show and in brochures? I remember nights where I just wanted to run away from Lynn, to just go home to what I knew and understood.

I think this is really a big problem for international students. I’m American. I was born here, but I feel so much like a stranger because I spent 15 years overseas representing a country I never really lived in. I felt out of my element and just wanted to run back to what I knew. Not necessarily my house and back to my mother, but back to my comfort zone.

I think that is why Cristina and I are so close now. We met during that period of time where we just wanted to get away from this new crazy world. I felt 20 times better once I knew I was not the only one feeling the way I was feeling.

Some students cry each night. Some cry all day long. Others try and drink their problems away or get high. I used to get so upset that I would just hide in my room and just scheme at how I could get away from Lynn, even if it was for a day.

At one point, I started saving my money so I could buy a plane ticket to anywhere but Florida. All the new stress was overwhelming. Mom wasn’t there to fix anything and I felt like if I wasn’t happy my first few weeks, then I wasn’t ready for college.

I started to hate my mom for making me stay at Lynn. Cristina was always fighting with her family that she wanted to leave. The girls on my floor were always yelling at their parents late at night the first few weeks that they wanted to leave or they couldn’t handle it. Something was always wrong and panic was everywhere a freshmen could be found.

Seeing the upperclassmen was not much of a help. They always seemed to be so happy and set into their routine that it felt impossible to believe that they had once felt what I was feeling.

So what changed? I made friends and started talking about my feelings. I was open with my professors about how I was feeling so that they knew I was having a hard time adjusting to college life. I had made three great friends that helped me get through my first year. I ate lunch and dinner with them. I walked to class with them. I talked to them about everything. We supported each other through all the struggles.

I think about six to eight weeks into college, I started to truly fall in love with Lynn. I started to see the beauty of college. I started to enjoy my classes and having my own space. I had my car by that point so I could get off campus. I started watching movies in Eric’s room, eating lunch with Cristina, and dinner with Rob. We started our own traditions which I miss now. Good news, go to the movies or order dinner. Bad news or a horrible day, ice cream at cold stone. I went on drives with Eric to just get out, went for Wendy’s fast food with Rob when I was depressed, and late night walks with Cristina when neither of us could sleep.

I started my own life. I wasn’t part of someone else’s plan for the first time in my life which I think is why it was so scary. No one was telling me what I should be doing, it was all up to me. I was discovering a lot about myself. Things like, I think dorm rooms feel so sterile like a hospital because there are no plants or pets. I’ve always had cats around me so not having my two little angels was strange. I had to call my mom to tell her about my day, not when she got home from work. I got to pick my future. I was discovering me, and let me tell you, it is scary getting to know yourself.

It’s ok to be scared. Terrified is more like it. Lol. I think I spent so much time looking forward to leaving home and getting away from my mom that I lost sight in the fact that in reality, your parents drop you off and say good bye to you. They leave a teenager and then you are supposed to turn around and suddenly become an adult. Frankly, we are all still little kids running around trying to learn how to be an adult. Why do you think I’m always saying that being an adult is hard?

So what’s my advice? Blast some music and dance in your dorm room. If your RA comes knocking, tell her that you are stressed and trying to learn how to be an adult. Find comfort food. Make friends that you can talk to about what you are going through because they are feeling it too. Play hookie every once in a while. Call home and tell your parents that college isn’t what you thought it was going to be, that it isn’t all fun and games. Tell mom about the hard biology professor or dad about how you can’t seem to get anything to make your room feel like home. Kick a soccer ball around. Sing, do whatever you have to to get through those first few weeks. They are rough.

I have so many people to thank for helping me get through those first weeks. I went to Stefano’s office near tears telling him that I wanted to leave and he calmed me down and informed me of all the great things about being at Lynn. He made me stick it out a little longer. Rich the RD who is always more than happy to give advice and lend an ear or two. My poor mother had to deal with who knows how many calls of me demanding to let me come home.

Listen, next year, I don’t have any classes on Friday. I’m going to make that the day that freshmen can come to me and talk about what they are going through. You don’t have to feel alone. I’ve done it and it was hard and scary. Find me around campus, and stop me to talk. We can get coffee at Christine’s or have lunch in the caf. How many times did I wish to have someone to talk those first few weeks! Stop me, stop any of the bloggers, they are totally cool, understanding, and best of all, they’ve been there! It’s ok to be…. It’s ok! Scared, angry, terrified, traumatized, lol.

They say that it only gets harder each year, but I think it can only get better. I am so excited about my second year. I have the best roommates in the world. I’m going to be surrounded by my friends and Michelle is moving into the dorms! I miss Lynn so much right now, you have no idea.

So keep emailing me at manderson5@email.lynn.edu and know that once back at school, I’m always there to help. Come talk to me, or just ask me questions, even if it is to find out what building you are standing in, hehe.

I love summer vacation. I spend my evenings reading books until I can’t hold them up any longer. Jana would be proud. lol. I brought almost $200 worth of books a few days ago. I’m starting to think I spend more time deep in a book than I do in the real world. My cat Krystal thinks I’m reading to him so he comes and sits next to me all night until I put the book down.

Since my mother’s graduation, we’ve been spending a lot of mother daughter time together. She started her Iraq training yesterday and comes home with wild stories. I must say, my favorite one is when a woman crashed her SUV and it rolled a few times. When rescue found her she was unconscious and they had to remove her clothes. Well, the guy wasn’t the smartest guy in the world and thought he would take her pulse from the opposite side of her then he was standing and well, she woke up. She beat him so badly, she put HIM in the hospital! *cracks up* She woke up confused and found herself naked and with some strange man over her and whooped him good.

Moral of that story, talk to the person you are trying to save or they might wake up and kick your butt. Lol. Apparently, hearing is the last to go so it is important to talk to a trama person even if they aren’t awake and screaming at you. Hehe.

Cristina seems to be having a ton of fun in Spain. We still talk as much as possible each week but I really can’t wait for her to get back to the states so we are closer in time diff. This whole 8 hours is really not working for us! I keep changing my facebook status to “Spain needs to give me back Cristina” or something along those lines.

*gets email and yells at mother* “MOM! I’m in the same room as you! Stop emailing me!” I swear, and they say children don’t listen. My mother is on the phone and she is emailing me. *shakes head* She used to text me that dinner was ready when normal mothers would just yell at the stairs. I kind of miss the traditional style of calling for your kids. You know, before cell phones and emails.

Alright, I’m off to download some more music and plan when I’m going to do my homework for some online courses I signed up for. I couldn’t just stay still all summer.

Oh and next month I’m working on Sigma Care Packages. I’m so excited. First got to get mom ready for Iraq, than I can work on stuff for the next school year! Ahhh… one year down!

Does it ever end!? I can’t stand paperwork and it seems like all it ever does is find its way back to me! And what is with all this mail doing here in my name? Only a few years ago the only mail I would get would be a package and it had to be a holiday. Now all I seem to see are forms and bills!

I must add that the puppy dog look no longer works on my mother when it comes to forms. It’s horrible! Lucky Cristina, her mom still fills out her forms! So not fair.

Things to think about before you ship off to college. Are there things you get on a monthly basis, face cream, percriptions, magazines, just remember to forward it to Lynn. Talk to your pharmacy about making sure you can get everything you need once you arrive in Boca. There is a Walgreens down the street from us which comes in handy if the school nurse wants you to take something. Yes, you are going to get sick… often. Welcome to college.

Now, cars. If you have a car, begin crying now. Gas prices sucked when I left. I don’t even want to think about how high it is going to be when I get back! I spent all my money filling up my tank. Hmm,  I wonder if depression is on the rise in America do to gas prices? That would be a cool research  project. Anyway, random moment for today. Now, if you are planning on getting a drivers license anytime soon, it would be a great idea. Most American kids already have one, but a lot of international kids might not. It will come in handy. You don’t have to have a car, some friends might let you borrow theirs when they have class or something. I just know that some days, it would have been great to have some one else who could drive around. Say the time I got stuck 10 minutes away from school, sick to my stomach, in a ton of pain and no one could come and get me because they didn’t have license. There were cars, but no one to drive them.

Also, the storm alert. It goes off when lightening hits 5 miles within the school. Its loud and is annoying at first but you get used to it. The first time I heard it, I thought we were under attack. lol. And it sucks to wake up to, half awake, still in that confused mode.

I’ve also noticed that a lot of freshmen are concerned about making friends. It’s funny. I’ve moved so many times in my life but I  was worried about making friends when I got to college as well. It is kind of silly looking back on it now since I did just fine. My advice, go to the freshmen meet and greet party. It sound pretty stupid, and I felt like I was back in high school again, but I met Michelle there and thank goodness! We are both bio majors and stick together. She’s moving next door to me which I am so excited about. All I have to say is, give it sometime. Wait a few days for everyone to relax. People will start to open up. Talk to the other freshmen in your classes. That’s how I met Cristina. Just be open minded and go for it!

Well, thats all for now. I’m helping to make dinner and fighting off two tuna hungry cats.

I never thought I could be so happy to be packing in my life! After all the moves I’ve done in 19 years, I should be my normal grumpy self. But no! Not this time. I’m thrilled to be putting everything away and putting it in storage for a few months. Fly home to be with my cats and my mommy!!! Good food! Just… all the great stuff in life! haha.

I just got home from the movies with Cristina and Samara. We saw Made Of Honor. Great movie! We loved it so much that we couldn’t even remember what we had seen two days ago. It was a sad moment.

I’m off to bed so I can get up early to pack. More packing! Does it ever end? Well its got to by tuesday evening cause I’m flying home on Wednesday!!! Freshmen year is down to its last few hours! Oh and what an amazing roller coaster ride it has been!

YES!  I got the room I wanted for next year… oh ya, oh ya, oh ya! I am so excited. I’m moving in with Cristina and Samara. Best part ever, Rob is going to be living right across from us! All I will have to do to see him next year is open the door and yell! haha. I am SSSSOOOO excited! It pays to move on up in college. Right next to the laundry room. Its perfect. Really, it is going to be a great year. So many people I know are going to be right by me. I think Gene is going to be living next door. Michelle is moving on campus next  year. Even better! This way I can see her more and spend time with her without having to plan so far ahead! I am thrilled. Next year is going to rock. I get to be close to all my favorite people!

For anyone who wants to help us make it to our goal before the end of summer, click here!

This past weekend was relay for life. We raised so much money for it. We are only $8,000 away from our goal! Very exciting news. I believe that our schools goal is $35,000 this year. I must say, after all the hard work that was put into it, stressed out people every where the morning of, and all the preperation put into the event, it truelywas an amazing night!

All I have to say is, note to self, next year, do not pull all nighter before relay for life. I passed out shortly after midnight. I was sad that I got so tried I couldn’t stay up any longer because I was having so much fun. I did laps with my sisters, my friends, and classmates. Sold hand made handbags by Tri Sigma with my sisters, donated money towards Cristina’s events, bought two cheeseburgers troughout the night from Rob’s ZBT brothers, ran like a crazy person looking up cancer facts for Black Student Union for a Relay For Life event (I came so close to winning! Darn!), and who knows what else! I really just had a lot of fun, learned a ton of facts about cancer, raised money for the fight against cancer and had a ball doing it with some of the greatest people on Earth! Don’t think I didn’t see some Alumni out there as well! That was pretty cool to see past students coming back on campus to support something that they believe in.

I also have one big thank you for one of my sisters mom’s. Selby’s to be exact. Her mom spoke about her fight against cancer. It was very moving and it was wonderful to meet her. The sisters have been going crazy with excitment when we found out that Selby’s mom would be speaking. She did a great job with the video she made and a wonderful example of why Sigma Sigma Sigma picked the slogan, we are 48 reasons. Cancer touches us all.

Freshmen 101 tip: Its ok to make mistakes.

Its now close to the end of this school year, I can now look back and see a lot of things. I can see that when I first got to Lynn, I was sure that everything was going to be perfect. That everything was going to be great. I guess I was hoping that being an adult was going to be easy. Boy was I wrong.

Its ok to make mistakes! Doesn’t it seem like your parents make everything look so easy? Well lets not forget that they had a head start. They made the mistakes already, or at least we would hope, they have had time to perfect the art of being an adult. Well, at least we hope they are a lot better at it then the average college student!

I remember in high school how I was scared to make a mistake and of course, being the typical teenager, my first thought would be, “My mother is going to kill me!” Since day one, I’ve made who knows how many mistakes. From losing information, forgetting to drop off my laundry, over sleeping, not doing a homework assignment (or two), let my account get into the negative, fought with my friends when I shouldn’t, got a speeding ticket, locked myself out of my room (twice), pissed off my floor with my alarm clock, left food out and got ants one day, didn’t back up my files and so when my laptop crashed I had nothing, starting to get the picture? 

I don’t know what I would do without my mom. I used to be close to my mom when I was at home, but I think I got a whole lot closer to my mother on a new level once I got to college.  Now I call her when I’m stressed out, when I’m having a good day or a bad day, when I just need to talk, when I’m homesick, and when I mess up royally. I’m also getting to see a new side of my mom. She’s more supportive than I ever thought she would be. lol. Sounds mean, but when I was at home, I was always scared to get into trouble, but now I know that my mother will be upset, but she’ll still support me and help me through whatever it is I have gotten myself this time. She has really surprised me since I’ve gotten to college. A lot of stuff I was sure I was never going to get passed the yelling, and yet, she never raised her voice once but informed me that I was just learning a life lesson and that this too would pass. The first time she didn’t yell at me or give me a lecture I nearly fainted.

And thank goodness for friends! Between me and my three friends, we make a lot of mistakes but we’ve got each others backs. College can be scary if you are all alone. We learn from each other which is great and we support each other. Between Cristina working herself to death, Rob not being able to focus some nights and just needing someone else to type for him, and Eric to have somone on him about cleaning his room and doing his homework, we are always there for each other.

Its ok to make mistakes. As long as you are learning from them. Being an adult is not as easy as it seems. I’m starting to think that college is four years of trying to figure out yourself, your future, how the world works and where you fit into it. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you first get to college, make mistakes, learn from them, and move on.