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Need a Tow?
So a few days ago, my mom’s car broke down on the way to dinner with some old family friends. We some how make it to the place by coasting for like a mile and, had a wonderful dinner and then had to call AAA to tow the car back to the house. Talk about stressful! We road home in the tow truck which shook most of the time and made me nervous the whole way home.
So now we are renting a car for the week. Of course our car broke down right when we really needed it! I just got back from a trip to West Virginia last night. I had fun but I wasn’t there for long. I went for a really cool driving course that challenges the driver to do all kinds of wild turns and spins. I had a blast, but after 6 hours of hard driving, I came home and slept for 12 hours… maybe more.
Ahh, it’s good to be home. Tomorrow I’m taking the cats to the vet, the fat one is getting a hair cut. lol. This could get interesting.
The Dark Place
It’s the middle of the night and I’m about to talk about something that most people don’t ever speak of in public. The dark side of the first few weeks of college.
I remember my first few weeks of college feeling alone and confused. Why wasn’t I always happy to be free and running around like it seemed to be on every TV show and in brochures? I remember nights where I just wanted to run away from Lynn, to just go home to what I knew and understood.
I think this is really a big problem for international students. I’m American. I was born here, but I feel so much like a stranger because I spent 15 years overseas representing a country I never really lived in. I felt out of my element and just wanted to run back to what I knew. Not necessarily my house and back to my mother, but back to my comfort zone.
I think that is why Cristina and I are so close now. We met during that period of time where we just wanted to get away from this new crazy world. I felt 20 times better once I knew I was not the only one feeling the way I was feeling.
Some students cry each night. Some cry all day long. Others try and drink their problems away or get high. I used to get so upset that I would just hide in my room and just scheme at how I could get away from Lynn, even if it was for a day.
At one point, I started saving my money so I could buy a plane ticket to anywhere but Florida. All the new stress was overwhelming. Mom wasn’t there to fix anything and I felt like if I wasn’t happy my first few weeks, then I wasn’t ready for college.
I started to hate my mom for making me stay at Lynn. Cristina was always fighting with her family that she wanted to leave. The girls on my floor were always yelling at their parents late at night the first few weeks that they wanted to leave or they couldn’t handle it. Something was always wrong and panic was everywhere a freshmen could be found.
Seeing the upperclassmen was not much of a help. They always seemed to be so happy and set into their routine that it felt impossible to believe that they had once felt what I was feeling.
So what changed? I made friends and started talking about my feelings. I was open with my professors about how I was feeling so that they knew I was having a hard time adjusting to college life. I had made three great friends that helped me get through my first year. I ate lunch and dinner with them. I walked to class with them. I talked to them about everything. We supported each other through all the struggles.
I think about six to eight weeks into college, I started to truly fall in love with Lynn. I started to see the beauty of college. I started to enjoy my classes and having my own space. I had my car by that point so I could get off campus. I started watching movies in Eric’s room, eating lunch with Cristina, and dinner with Rob. We started our own traditions which I miss now. Good news, go to the movies or order dinner. Bad news or a horrible day, ice cream at cold stone. I went on drives with Eric to just get out, went for Wendy’s fast food with Rob when I was depressed, and late night walks with Cristina when neither of us could sleep.
I started my own life. I wasn’t part of someone else’s plan for the first time in my life which I think is why it was so scary. No one was telling me what I should be doing, it was all up to me. I was discovering a lot about myself. Things like, I think dorm rooms feel so sterile like a hospital because there are no plants or pets. I’ve always had cats around me so not having my two little angels was strange. I had to call my mom to tell her about my day, not when she got home from work. I got to pick my future. I was discovering me, and let me tell you, it is scary getting to know yourself.
It’s ok to be scared. Terrified is more like it. Lol. I think I spent so much time looking forward to leaving home and getting away from my mom that I lost sight in the fact that in reality, your parents drop you off and say good bye to you. They leave a teenager and then you are supposed to turn around and suddenly become an adult. Frankly, we are all still little kids running around trying to learn how to be an adult. Why do you think I’m always saying that being an adult is hard?
So what’s my advice? Blast some music and dance in your dorm room. If your RA comes knocking, tell her that you are stressed and trying to learn how to be an adult. Find comfort food. Make friends that you can talk to about what you are going through because they are feeling it too. Play hookie every once in a while. Call home and tell your parents that college isn’t what you thought it was going to be, that it isn’t all fun and games. Tell mom about the hard biology professor or dad about how you can’t seem to get anything to make your room feel like home. Kick a soccer ball around. Sing, do whatever you have to to get through those first few weeks. They are rough.
I have so many people to thank for helping me get through those first weeks. I went to Stefano’s office near tears telling him that I wanted to leave and he calmed me down and informed me of all the great things about being at Lynn. He made me stick it out a little longer. Rich the RD who is always more than happy to give advice and lend an ear or two. My poor mother had to deal with who knows how many calls of me demanding to let me come home.
Listen, next year, I don’t have any classes on Friday. I’m going to make that the day that freshmen can come to me and talk about what they are going through. You don’t have to feel alone. I’ve done it and it was hard and scary. Find me around campus, and stop me to talk. We can get coffee at Christine’s or have lunch in the caf. How many times did I wish to have someone to talk those first few weeks! Stop me, stop any of the bloggers, they are totally cool, understanding, and best of all, they’ve been there! It’s ok to be…. It’s ok! Scared, angry, terrified, traumatized, lol.
They say that it only gets harder each year, but I think it can only get better. I am so excited about my second year. I have the best roommates in the world. I’m going to be surrounded by my friends and Michelle is moving into the dorms! I miss Lynn so much right now, you have no idea.
So keep emailing me at manderson5@email.lynn.edu and know that once back at school, I’m always there to help. Come talk to me, or just ask me questions, even if it is to find out what building you are standing in, hehe.
The Joy’s of Summer
I love summer vacation. I spend my evenings reading books until I can’t hold them up any longer. Jana would be proud. lol. I brought almost $200 worth of books a few days ago. I’m starting to think I spend more time deep in a book than I do in the real world. My cat Krystal thinks I’m reading to him so he comes and sits next to me all night until I put the book down.
Since my mother’s graduation, we’ve been spending a lot of mother daughter time together. She started her Iraq training yesterday and comes home with wild stories. I must say, my favorite one is when a woman crashed her SUV and it rolled a few times. When rescue found her she was unconscious and they had to remove her clothes. Well, the guy wasn’t the smartest guy in the world and thought he would take her pulse from the opposite side of her then he was standing and well, she woke up. She beat him so badly, she put HIM in the hospital! *cracks up* She woke up confused and found herself naked and with some strange man over her and whooped him good.
Moral of that story, talk to the person you are trying to save or they might wake up and kick your butt. Lol. Apparently, hearing is the last to go so it is important to talk to a trama person even if they aren’t awake and screaming at you. Hehe.
Cristina seems to be having a ton of fun in Spain. We still talk as much as possible each week but I really can’t wait for her to get back to the states so we are closer in time diff. This whole 8 hours is really not working for us! I keep changing my facebook status to “Spain needs to give me back Cristina” or something along those lines.
*gets email and yells at mother* “MOM! I’m in the same room as you! Stop emailing me!” I swear, and they say children don’t listen. My mother is on the phone and she is emailing me. *shakes head* She used to text me that dinner was ready when normal mothers would just yell at the stairs. I kind of miss the traditional style of calling for your kids. You know, before cell phones and emails.
Alright, I’m off to download some more music and plan when I’m going to do my homework for some online courses I signed up for. I couldn’t just stay still all summer.
Oh and next month I’m working on Sigma Care Packages. I’m so excited. First got to get mom ready for Iraq, than I can work on stuff for the next school year! Ahhh… one year down!
My mom’s graduation
My mom had her graduation yesterday. She was studying for her Graduate this year and the family came from everywhere to see her graduate. My Aunt Zena, Grandmother, Grandfather, and my Great Aunt Oquilla came from all over the US for my mothers big day.Â
I spent two days running around trying to make sure everyone was happy and keep the peace so now I’m tired! I kept my mouth shut and didn’t turn into a wise mouth which normally gets me in trouble. As my family and friends know, I can be very sarcastic and what my grandmother calls a “whipper Snapper”, what ever that means.
My mother’s class was HUGE! 700 people! My gosh, it never ended! It was a blur of people until they got to my mothers section. To my surprise, my grandmother cheered the loudest. I just looked at my aunt is disbelief and she was like what? That’s grandma for you. That tiny lady sure has some lungs!
After it was over and my grandfather had about 200 photos covering 5 minutes, my mother who of course knows everyone, had to introduce us to the whole class. Again, another blur of people. Of course they all said the one thing I can’t stand to hear, you look just like your mother! AHHHH!
I look so much like my mother that I can’t walk down the street in some cities. I have been stopped on the street or in buildings by strangers asking my name and then hugging me, telling me that they knew who I was form the moment I walked in the room. I’m starting to think I’m a clone.
Well its the next day and most of the family is gone. The only one that has stayed behind is my Aunt Zena. I’m so excited! I love hanging out with her and shopping with her. She totally understands me. We are going book shopping tomorrow and clothes shopping. My mom is happy to have her baby sister here and I’m thrilled to have my aunt.
Today, the three of us went to go see The Happening. It was pretty good. Now we are chilling at the house, trying to agree on a movie to watch with dinner and where we should go shopping first tomorrow.
Alright, I’m off to dinner with my family!
HOME!
I’m home. It’s fantastic! Although, my mother ditched me for Africa. Lovely, but I still have my cats, the condo, her car, and TV! Its a mini party in here! The cats are thrilled, I have a ton of good food stocked up in the fridge. Everything is perfect! Now all I have to do is wait for my mother to get home so I can pretend like she didn’t ditch me the day before Mother’s Day.
Oh ya, I’m job hunting. It’s awesome. I’m looking for a job at Union Station at one of the stores.
Bye Bye Cell Phone
I’ve gotten to the point where I hate the sound of my cell phone. I can’t get anything done because it is always going off. Its driving me nuts to the point that I am thinking about getting rid of it all together over the summer. I’m not really a big fan of phones anymore. It is 24/7 access to a person which in reality, do you really need 24/7 access to any one given person?
Last night, I couldn’t take it anymore. All the beeping and the ringing. I just turned it off. I just turned it back on after my exam to find a flood of missed calls and text messages.
I can’t get anything done with the damn thing around me! I really hate the annoying little bugger. I’m already under enough stress with packing and studying for exams, which is hard enough for me to focus on, but then the phone keeps ringing and its driving me insane. I can not focus with a cell phone. Its probably my number one distraction in college.
And everyone is all like, this is the last week of school. Ya well, I’m still in denial… so stop trying to pop my bubble! How can a year go by so quickly???? I just got my room the way I like it! Honestly, I’m terrified. Everything seems to be happening so quickly and so suddenly. It feels like weeks until I’ll be home, but really its only two days! I have so much to do, I think I need an extra day. Ugh, being an adult is hard!
Packing
I never thought I could be so happy to be packing in my life! After all the moves I’ve done in 19 years, I should be my normal grumpy self. But no! Not this time. I’m thrilled to be putting everything away and putting it in storage for a few months. Fly home to be with my cats and my mommy!!! Good food! Just… all the great stuff in life! haha.
I just got home from the movies with Cristina and Samara. We saw Made Of Honor. Great movie! We loved it so much that we couldn’t even remember what we had seen two days ago. It was a sad moment.
I’m off to bed so I can get up early to pack. More packing! Does it ever end? Well its got to by tuesday evening cause I’m flying home on Wednesday!!! Freshmen year is down to its last few hours! Oh and what an amazing roller coaster ride it has been!
I can see!
Thank goodness for spring break! I got a chance to finally get new contacts plus, sit down long enough to get my eyes checked! Now I can see the board when I get back! Michelle will be so happy since I won’t be leaning over in bio class to figure out what the heck is on the screen. I’m sure she thought I was nuts for a while but oh well, now I can see for myself.
Its great to be able to watch TV without looking like I’m trying to read a sign from 200 miles away. Very attractive look and the headache’s were great. I don’t watch that much TV while I’m at school so its a treat to come home and just plop infront of the TV with my cats and a huge bowl of frozen grapes.
I find it strange that it was colder in Boca than it is in DC. Â
Lemon is the new salt
I’ve been watching a lot of the food network since I’ve been home, and I’m not sure what salt did, but it simply has gotten the boot! Lemon is the new salt! lol.
My cats are so happy that some one is now home to watch cartoons with them. Yestorday we were watching the Simpsons, Sponge Bob, The Replacements, and Kim Possible. lol. My mother is so upset, I come home to watch cartoons.
Back at Lynn
I am thrilled to be back at Lynn. I had no clue how much I missed being here. Yestorday was my first day of classes and it was probably my best day at Lynn. Seeing my friends again and starting new and exciting classes was a rush. There were people screaming, running, and hugging all over the place.
Before we got back, I had made some plans with my friends to go to a Comedy Central Concert that was at FAU. The tickets were free, we just needed them. After classes, we drove over to FAU to pick some up, but we could not find the place to buy them. I kept asking my friends to stop some one who was walking and ask them where the building was. Finally, after about 10 minutes of me asking, Dee askes this girl and to our surprise it went wonderfully in our favor. We asked her where the buildingn was and she asked how many tickets we needed since she was not going to go, we told her we needed six and she said, well I have just that, six. It was perfect! We never had to get out of the car. Cristina called it drive through ticket pick up. Lol. It must have just been our lucky day.
It ended up being, me, Cristina, Dee, Eric, and Mike. The concert made us laugh so hard, some of us were crying. Parking was horrible but it was worth it since I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. We laughed for so long and so hard that I couldn’t talk for a while.
Then we rushed back to school for blingo. None of us won but it was still a lot of fun and we were still on some kind of happy high that we didn’t care.
I am just so happy to be back at Lynn! I got to chill with my friends, who are funny and crazy but I love them dearly. I wouldn’t have half as much fun without them!
I feel like I am at home once again. I missed the beautiful campus, my room, my friends, my sisters, and just my life here in Boca Raton and at Lynn. Ahhh, back to normal.
Now I am just broke. My stupid books cost something like $550.
