My Knightlife

One of my friend’s wrote an interesting paper on a “friend relationship” with a person of the opposite sex. I found it very interesting and I believe it reveals a lot of interesting concepts and reflections of how individuals look at a friendship.

In the past I have always had a best friend who has been a girl, and a best friend who has been a guy. Every time I would hang out with my guy best friend Tommy people would always talk and say that we were more than then friends. I of course had a boyfriend and he too had a girlfriend. There are so many times when people would misinterpret our relationship and just assumed that we were more than friends. I can honestly say that as long as you do not cross certain lines with your best friend then there is nothing wrong with the relationship. I would say that through out my whole life I have preferred to have a guy as my best friend then a girl because they are so much easier to trust.

According to the article written by Mike Hardcastle Can guys and girls be just friends? He states that it all depends on whom you ask. (Hardcastle, N.D.) The answer ranges from “absolutely” to “absolutely not” and the fact of the matter is that there is no universal truth. (Hardcastle, N.D.) I think that in some cases guys and girls can be the best of friends but in other circumstances a nonsexual relationship is impractical. This also all depends on how the friendship began and whether or not there is a physical attraction involved, and also was it one sided or mutual. Sometimes it also focuses on the individuals personalities. Hardcastle states that there is no good reason why members of the opposite sex cannot have important and close friendships with one another and the objections of those who think it is impossible stem mostly from a crude cultural belief that all men want any woman they can get their hands on and that they view each and every woman as sexual objects first and real people second. (Hardcastle, N.D.) In some cases physical attraction is a fact, to contend with it rarely is so overwhelming that it makes a friendship impossible and when it does happen that physical attraction or lust gets in the way of being friends it isn’t always the guy who struggles with those feelings. ( Hardcastle, N.D.) All the feelings and lust that is developed by one person may or may not destroy the friendship depending on the person who is developing these feelings. Basically Hardcastle believes that guys and girls can be friends if they really want to be friends. It only gets complicated when physical attraction gets in the way.

I would say that I agree with Hardcastle, my best friend and I became sexually involved and this completely changed our friendship. We are still really good friends and spend a lot of time together, but we do get into fights about certain things because his feelings for me are more than friendship based. After we crossed that line it is hard for me to tell him certain things without him getting upset or feeling some sort of jealousy. A guy and girl can be best friends as long as you have no physical attraction for them. I have another guy best friend which I can sit and tell him everything and I know that there is just a lot of friendship there.

There will always be people out there who judge the friendship and because of their insecurities want to misinterpret what is going on between to people of the opposite sex. If a girl is attracted to your best friend it makes it worse because they begin to talk and then tell other people which leads to other misinterpretations from other people. They feel intimidated by your friendship with the guy and so begin to judge and mislead others to believing the same thing they do. Girls are caddy and betray more than anyone, a girl will steal or even sleep with her best friend’s boyfriend, or sometimes even someone that her best friend likes. They do not care, and that is why some girls do not have many friends. They might think that they do, but deep down inside they really cannot trust any other girl.

I have noticed that when guys and girls are best friends there is more jealousy involved. Girls are more possessive of their guy best friends and do not like when other girls are closer to them than they are. For example you do not want your best friend to be best friends or closer to another girl. Even if they have a girlfriend you want them to trust you more than they would their girlfriend. I feel that it is because us as girls like the attention on us and only us. Basically not only have I experienced this but I know many other people who have. Girls will always trust guys more than they trust girls, I feel that they can be better friends and trust each other more. I will always have a girl best friend and a guy best friend, but trust my guy best friend a little bit more. No matter what girls will always betray you and think of themselves first, in a way it also depends on the female and her personality.

Filed under: Friends on October 31st, 2007